christwire.org have outed my real identity.
According to them, I am “a Jewish Philadelphia-based reporter for Fox rival ABC”, real name James Goldman. I was arrested “On June 18, 2006, [ … ] by the New York City Police Department in Manhattan for soliciting a transvestite prostitute.”
I also appear to be in my early 60s with grey hair. Which is fascinating!
OK, so—I get it. Super funny. The “joke” being that someone somewhere at christwire either doesn’t realise the Glenn Beck rape and murder parody is a satirical commentary on the methods Beck uses to stir racial hatred and political extremism OR it is the single funniest be-like-them-to-laugh-at-them site I’ve ever seen.
I have to say my alternate future self does look quite dashing with his silver tash. And although I would dearly love to provide chirstwire with a scoop, I’m afraid I have to insist they print a clarification on this one (my comment) before all my usual man bitches start getting jealous and raise their prices.
EDIT: Atheist Nexus seem to think christwire is a genuine religious hate speech site http://www.atheistnexus.org/forum/topics/christwire-1
EDIT: From the comments below and on reddit it would appear the self-styled “investigative journalist” Stephenson Billings, who made the above accusations of me, doesn’t realise christwire is a parody site. Either that or christwire isn’t supposed to be a parody site but it is regularly usurped by bloggers with a satirical genius who’ve made it one. This just keeps getting better, but DAMN YOU POE’S LAW!!