More lies for Jesus

071206wtfjimgardnerchristwire.org have outed my real identity.

According to them, I am “a Jewish Philadelphia-based reporter for Fox rival ABC”, real name James Goldman. I was arrested “On June 18, 2006, [ … ] by the New York City Police Department in Manhattan for soliciting a transvestite prostitute.”

I also appear to be in my early 60s with grey hair. Which is fascinating!

OK, so—I get it. Super funny. The “joke” being that someone somewhere at christwire either doesn’t realise the Glenn Beck rape and murder parody is a satirical commentary on the methods Beck uses to stir racial hatred and political extremism OR it is the single funniest be-like-them-to-laugh-at-them site I’ve ever seen.

I have to say my alternate future self does look quite dashing with his silver tash. And although I would dearly love to provide chirstwire with a scoop, I’m afraid I have to insist they print a clarification on this one (my comment) before all my usual man bitches start getting jealous and raise their prices.

EDIT: Atheist Nexus seem to think christwire is a genuine religious hate speech site http://www.atheistnexus.org/forum/topics/christwire-1

EDIT: From the comments below and on reddit it would appear the self-styled “investigative journalist” Stephenson Billings, who made the above accusations of me, doesn’t realise christwire is a parody site. Either that or christwire isn’t supposed to be a parody site but it is regularly usurped by bloggers with a satirical genius who’ve made it one. This just keeps getting better, but DAMN YOU POE’S LAW!!

27 comments on “More lies for Jesus

  1. You are repulsive. And I know the “DId Glenn Beck Murder” charge is completely false. I say this repeatedly in my article. Also, I address the “parody” angle that Hall and his lawyer have been facetiously trying to push- they think it gives them cover for their slander. They are wrong. Hall and the rest of you anti-conservative, anti-Christian operatives have declared open season on morality and reason and Glenn Beck specifically. This is simply another one of your cruel attempts to bring down an icon of decency and faith.

    With blessings and love,

    Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist

  2. Stephenson, no one has been able to prove the Glenn Beck murder charges are false so far. Beck has been suspiciously quiet about all of it. If he has nothing to hide then all he has to do is come forward with the evidence. It shouldn’t be that hard. Instead he has turned his lawyers on anyone who has dared to speak out on this topic. Sounds rather fishy to me.

    Hugs and kisses,

    Reckoner J. Smith, Investigative blogger

  3. Utterly hilarious!! Here’s a screenshot of my reply on Stephenson’s blog—hereby ending my interest in his blatant whoring for comments and just so he can’t remove it and then say I didn’t respond. As these types tend to do.


    Oh and the “Investigative Journalist” sign-off absolutely cracked me up. Get off your knees man.

    Source, alexa.com

  4. Man, that dud is something else. So.. tell me, Jim, with your British pretentiousness, exactly how many Cocknies do you have in the North of England, mate? I don’t remember there being too many.. but then maybe I’m just ignorant.

    BTW, if you do consider action, you’d be better to pursue it in the USA than in the UK. Several US jurisdictions do not recognise British libel decisions, and it’s prohibitively expensive to sue here anyway.

  5. I don’t know what sort of game you’re playing, but that response you claim to have posted is not on Christwire. Must be a trick to blame me for something I didn’t do (nor have the power to do, I’m just a writer not a technician). Don’t worry, though, I’ll post it for you.

    And for the record, I am NOT a blogger, I AM AN INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST WITH ALL THE CERTIFICATIONS THAT ENTAILS.

    Blogging is an entirely different animal– it’s a personal log updated often about one’s life or some weird obsession some person has– like cats or beauty products. On the other hand, this is a website of beliefs and news, an online scholarly newspaper of current events and Christianity. Obviously you have neither the intellect nor the talent to comprehend such a thing.

  6. Oh wait, I see… Jim, because you put two links in your article, it needs to be approved by our webmaster admin– it might be a few days! You should have posted it without the links. They don’t work weekends.

  7. Does typing in caps prove a point in America? It’s just that if you’re really ‘intelligent’ you’d give us facts instead. Or at the very least some reasoned logic.

  8. And for the record, I am NOT a blogger, I AM AN INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST WITH ALL THE CERTIFICATIONS THAT ENTAILS.

    pretty sure “INVESTIGATIVE JOURRNALIST” entails no certifications at all.

    and if you indeed did “out” the wrong person, you’re not a very good investigative journalist, are you?

    They are wrong. Hall and the rest of you anti-conservative, anti-Christian operatives have declared open season on morality and reason and Glenn Beck specifically.

    Glenn Beck is not a Christian and not very conservative. He is a conspiracy theorist with a TV show.

  9. Wow, an investigative journalist that doesn’t investigate his story. There’s a first.

    You’ve either been given faulty information, or you’re a troll. Either way the only thing I regret is I won’t get to see your face when you realise your mistake. Apart from that you have, as I said, made my week. Seriously.

    The level of fail is almost beyond comprehension—but then again, we are dealing with someone who thinks Glenn Beck is a patriot—so I guess we shouldn’t be too aghast.

    Incidentally, in case you do ever man up and print a correction, you might take solace from the fact no-one I’ve asked about you personally has heard of you or your grubby little accidental parody blog—so your embarrassment shouldn’t do your Google rankings any harm. Honest writing has a habit of attracting honest readers, you should try it some time.

    http://imgur.com/2vv6m

  10. You are a dangerous pervert of ideas who disgusts me. I pray your local authorities and MI-5 (or is it 6 over there?) are monitoring your hate-filled rhetoric. If you were in this country the Patriot Act would surely be applicable to your comings and goings.

    I am glad that I have befuddled you more than your YouTube settings this week.

    Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist

  11. Why would the security services be interested in someone who tells the truth about people like you? And if they are interested in me, I’d rather be guilty of telling the truth than cowering in fear of lies. Congratulations on not replying to any of this on your own blog by the way, mister “serious investigative journalist”. You have the honesty of a wet fart.

  12. Stephenson. I don’t know if christwire is a parody blog or not—but I have to say that the amount of hateful vile racism and homophobia on their, which some people seem to be not only allowed to get away with but actively encouraged to spread is a real turn off for me. So, if you’re trying to get some of that shit on me you’re seriously wasting your time.

    So, you’re either supposed to be a sort of double-angent of satire; laughing at the hot-under-the-collar atheists as heartily as we all laugh at the religious nut jobs together, or you’re racist vile puke. Either way, I don’t care. But just a tip in case you are just joking—try to pick on someone who takes it all a lot more seriously than I do.

    I’m sure my tone in the written word sometimes comes over as angry or even anxious, because I am not a professional writer and, like so many bloggers, I do occasionally say shit I don’t mean–but trust me, you’re barking up the wrong tree if you think I’m going to bite down harder on this one. Whichever you are—the real deal or just another troll–my advice is to move on.

    If you are attempting to craft some kind of weird satirical niche for yourself and you feel like a bigger challenge I suggest zdenny.com — but I’d make it quick. Last time I checked she was about 6 months away from going fully fruit loop postal.

  13. “I find it evil that your posse “down rated” my first comment 14 times.”
    I believe I have to thank you for reminding me to downrate your comments.

    Also, is this Stephenson a ZDenny squared or what? I mean, both are semi-trolls, only this guy doesn’t typo (as much).

  14. I’ve come to the conclusion that the evidence is not only against the argument, but against support of it. Granted, the numbers seem obscene, and even though they are currently growing, they are in the minority. Even if these people accomplished their goal of pushing us into a dark age, it wouldn’t last a moment. The facts are on our side. The harder these people push, the more transparent their cause becomes.

  15. Just read through that Golden Girls article In Awe posted and I laughed my ass off.

    I thought about leaving a comment, but why validate this nut job by engaging him in conversation?

    There’s an abortion clinic in my area where the fundies like to set up tents and posters. We drive by everyday on our way to work and would love to flip them the bird or tell them to get a better hobby, but that would just strengthen their resolve.

  16. Sure, that’s funny as hell, but I don’t want these people thinking they have any credence to their argument. These people are CRAZY. They think there are demons and angels around influencing people. The more resistance they meet, the more they think they are on the right path, like its a societal exorcism that has to run its course.

  17. It is so incredibly obvious that ChristWire is an atheist ploy using reverse psychology to inaccurately portray Christian teachings. If atheism was legitimate or logical in any way, the folks at ChristWire wouldn’t be compelled to deceive readers.

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