@godlessgirl tweeted, “I want to be a card-carrying Atheist. Maybe I should make my own cards…” and I started to think about it. I came up with this…
I’ve often wondered what I would do if, by some unfortunate turn of events, I was no longer capable of expressing my wishes, perhaps following an accident or illness. What would I do if, one day, Father Friggety turned up at my bedside with his worry beads and started grovelling before his own externalised ego, begging to be forgiven on my behalf?
Hopefully, they’ll find a copy of this handy print-out-and-keep, “stick your religion up your arse” card in my things, before they start praying, and concentrate more of their efforts on doing something that’ll actually help me recover instead.
If you’d like a high resolution PDF version of these cards, to print out your own, here’s a link to MegaUpload…
EDIT@Azbats pointed out that MegaUpload’s banner ads are Not Safe For Work, so here’s a BitTorrent of the PDF files too, but PLEASE CONTINUE TO SEED THE DOWNLOAD ONCE YOURS IS COMPLETE SO THAT OTHERS CAN HAVE IT! Thanks.
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/5078599
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=BWCEFLRP
EDIT: New working link to download:
http://www.mediafire.com/?7o3dh94wl7rhlds
To extract the files from the RAR archive you’ll need this for Mac…
http://unrarx.sourceforge.net/
…and this for Windows…
How good is that? 
I want one!
I’ll do you one and we’ll laminate it.
Fabulous, Jim! I didn’t even think to make this an end-of-life sort of declaration, but it’s a great idea.
FANX! Glad you like it.
My… How I love my godless country. I wouldn’t need this at all I’m afraid. But it’ll be fun to carry around just in case.
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Hell, go whole hog… stylize a bit and have it tattooed on! No one can say they didn’t find it then ;)
Make a *.PSD to download, there are people who could change the words to their languages.
It’s a neat thing, but if there would ever arise a chance where I could actually use it, some nutter coming in and asking an imaginary friend to help me would be the least of my worries.
Knoche: That’s a great idea. Stay tuned.
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That’s great! I’ll add that along with my minister card. :)
ooooo, Bandwagon!
Great idea. You could even find an “In Case of Emergency” information card online somewhere to print on the back that has other helpful info like emergency contact info, medical conditions/allergies, etc.
GREAT IDEA! I am a true Atheist, meaning that Mother Earth reins supreme. God, the Devil, Angels, the Soul etc.are all man-made beliefs. No other creature has religion EXCEPT for mankind! John Lennon sums it up best with “Imagine”.
Love it jim i would were the atheist under pants with the church as a shit stain on the back. or you could have “i turned water to piss” on the front.
LMAO@Bapp Sniffer
Kevin;
“I am a true Atheist, meaning that Mother Earth reins supreme.”
Can you explain the steps which led you logically from the premise ‘there is no God’ all the way to the conclusion “Mother Earth reins supreme”??
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Great idea! Now it won’t be a waste of time defining who’s who around here.
Jim, make sure that somehow you tuck one into Father Friggerty’s breast pocket with your last dying clucth to his lapels as you’re telling him where to get off. I know that you will have the strength to do this, ’cause people are prayin’ for ya!
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THANK YOU!!!!!!!
Thank you made this. i am now printing this and carrying it in my wallet.
nothing worse than wanting to scream “stop praying and save me”
Thank you! I have mine printed and in my wallet!
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7zip opens “everything” (otherwise, try uniextract). 7-zip.org has links to linux and osx wrappers.
make your own: use ooo, then save to pdf. or other wordprocessor, then print to pdf (eg, pdfcreator)
you are so cute!
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Both download links are dead. :-(
If you contact me, I’ll make it available permanently on a regular website.
Wayne Walker: I’ve replaced the broken links. If you’d like to permanently host them elsewhere, just go right ahead.
http://www.mediafire.com/?7o3dh94wl7rhlds
I arrived here when I googled “business card to give Christians from an atheist”. I’m trying to figure out what to put on a card that I could hand to whomever comes knocking on my door representing a church. Three kids just came by for a fundraising and although I didn’t mind giving them $5 towards their camo trip, I felt like a hypocrite and wished I had a card to hand them and also hand to the next Jehovah’s WItness to come knocking.