Was Michael Jackson’s memorial the tackiest thing ever or what?

_46024789_007615740-2OK, no… ..wait. Let me rewind from that headline. Sort of. I mean, it WAS the tackiest thing ever, no mistake. BUT, it was also exactly what everyone expected. In a funny way it was touching. I didn’t even mind Al Sharpton’s speech, it was actually very secular–he didn’t even use the word God. And his assurance to the children that Daddy wasn’t as strange as the media monster he created, was the right thing to say from the right man to say it.

Usher can fuck off. Leaning on the gold coffin with aviator shades on. Really? Is that where we are now? Is that what we do when someone famous goes the way of all flesh? Parading the children Michael Jackson worked so hard to keep away from the cameras less than a week after he’s gone? Well.. ..maybe that’s just the jaded old cynic in me. Maybe the children actually wanted to part of the proceedings? Maybe there was an agreement with a major paparazzi outfit to leave them alone on the proviso they gave them tomorrow’s front page? It’s not a tactic beneath the Royal family, so maybe it actually works. Who knows?

What’s not in doubt is, the hand on heart truth (and I say this as a lifelong Prince fan) that when Michael Jackson did what Michael Jackson did, he was untouchable. Flawless. And if there’s one thing Americans do better than any other nation, it’s show respect for people who have earned it. It is the single most endearing thing about them–even when they go too far.

Driving back from my friend’s house tonight, having watched the proceedings with him, it occurred to me that I probably don’t explain myself very well sometimes, despite trying. I was prompted, then, to underline that the whole “atheism agenda thing”, which has underpinned much of this blog for the past months, isn’t motivated by hate–it’s driven by the same dissatisfaction with ordinariness everyone feels. I just happen to enjoy taking it out on the keyboard once in a while.

However, the Michael Jackson memorial also reminded me that there is a whole world of wonderful people, who just happen to have a blind spot when it comes to beliefs. Yes, he admitted, on camera, that he shares his bed with boys who stayed at his house. Yes, he turned white and had half his head removed. Yes, the whole thing of shouting, “Woh!!” in a dry ice miasma got tired 15 years ago. Yes, the ballads are sickeningly obvious schmaltz. But first and foremost he was a man who got shit done. He raised the bar. He was Michael fucking Jackson.

So, by way of an apology to anyone who simply tried to communicate with me, only to be met by up-front challenges to the things they hold closest, here’s a line in the sand. On one side, the beliefs of believers. On the other, what we know and can prove. But the line is drawn. There will be no more direct challenges to those beliefs on this blog–only a more focused attempt to blog weekly on what we can all agree needs discussing, as and when the news agenda comes around.

The back archive of posts on this logical fallacy and that biblical contradiction aren’t going anywhere. Nor are the borderline NSFW babe pics which bring in so many Google page rankings each week–hey, I’m a clicks whore, shut the fuck up!

Simply put, there is no God and the bible is confused hotchpotch of evil shit and beautifully crafted, timeless folklore you’d have to be pretty stupid not to “get” something from. Now let’s move on to something rather less obvious, shall we?

13 comments on “Was Michael Jackson’s memorial the tackiest thing ever or what?

  1. THE GOAL:
    “There will be no more direct challenges to those beliefs on this blog…”

    THE FAIL:
    “…Simply put, there is no God and the bible is confused hotchpotch of evil shit”

    Well done, you made it one paragraph!

  2. Irony (from the Ancient Greek εἰρωνεία eirōneía, meaning hypocrisy, deception, or feigned ignorance) is a literary or rhetorical device, in which there is an incongruity or discordance between what one says or does and what one means or what is generally understood. Irony is a mode of expression that calls attention to the character’s knowledge and that of the audience.

  3. con·tra·dic·tion (kntr-dkshn)
    n.
    1.
    a. The act of contradicting.
    b. The state of being contradicted.
    2. A denial.
    3. Inconsistency; discrepancy.
    4. Something that contains contradictory elements.

    oh the joys of ctrl C ctrl V!

  4. \ˈpe-dənt\
    Function:
    noun
    Etymology:
    Middle French, from Italian pedante
    Date:
    1588
    1obsolete : a male schoolteacher
    2 a: one who makes a show of knowledge b: one who is unimaginative or who unduly emphasizes minutiae in the presentation or use of knowledge c: a formalist or precisionist in teaching.

  5. \tedious
    Adjective
    boring and uninteresting
    tediously adv
    tediousness n

    Adj. 1. tedious – so lacking in interest as to cause mental weariness; “a boring evening with uninteresting people”; “the deadening effect of some routine tasks”; “a dull play”; “his competent but dull performance”; “a ho-hum speaker who couldn’t capture their attention”; “what an irksome task the writing of long letters is”- Edmund Burke; “tedious days on the train”; “the tiresome chirping of a cricket”- Mark Twain; “other people’s dreams are dreadfully wearisome”
    boring, deadening, ho-hum, irksome, tiresome, wearisome, dull, slow
    uninteresting – arousing no interest or attention or curiosity or excitement; “a very uninteresting account of her trip”

    2. tedious – using or containing too many words; “long-winded (or windy) speakers”; “verbose and ineffective instructional methods”; “newspapers of the day printed long wordy editorials”; “proceedings were delayed by wordy disputes”
    long-winded, verbose, wordy, windy
    prolix – tediously prolonged or tending to speak or write at great length; “editing a prolix manuscript”; “a prolix lecturer telling you more than you want to know”

    adjective boring, dull, dreary, monotonous, tiring, annoying, fatiguing, drab, banal, tiresome, lifeless, prosaic, laborious, humdrum, uninteresting, long-drawn-out, mind-numbing, irksome, unexciting, soporific, ho-hum (informal) vapid, wearisome, deadly dull, prosy, dreich Scot. << OPPOSITE exciting

    :-)

  6. Skin and slice the tomatoes.

    Finely chop the onion and lightly fry in the butter in a large frying pan.

    Crush the garlic and add to the onion. When lightly browned, add the tomatoes and salt and pepper. Cook gently, turning several times, until tomatoes are soft.

    Beat the eggs lightly, add cheese and pour into the frying pan. Cook over low heat, periodically loosening egg from sides of pan, until set on one side.

    Turn and cook on reverse side.

  7. Bap sniffer, Michael just enjoys arguing black is white. We have a lot in common, except I’m right and he’s wrong. Apart from that it’s all good. SALT!!

  8. “Michael just enjoys arguing black is white”

    “It’s true! either you’re wrong or you’re right.
    But, if you’re thinkin’ about my baby it don’t matter if you’re black or white.”

    :-)

  9. Howdy! This blog post couldn’t be written much better!
    Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!

    He always kept talking about this. I am going to send
    this post to him. Pretty sure he’s going to have a
    good read. Thanks for sharing!

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