You know how anyone with a brain HATES Coldplay, yeah?

You can’t imagine how upset I was at neither liking nor disliking ‘Viva la vida’, by Coldplay.

Ever since they first dribbled from the shit stinking main supply sewer pipe which feeds the London music scene, a couple of years ago, they’ve made me want to fling something heavy at something even heavier every time they’ve appeared on screen or on the radio.

I once ripped out the bag from the vacuum cleaner and began hurriedly eating it to try and drown out the insipid drizzle of their particular brand of pop by numbers—but even as the team of paramedics pumped my stomach, clasped my hand and told me to hang on, one of them was whistling that fucking song about the girlfriend they sang at Live 8—like the bandwagon cunts they are!

So—yes—a mild annoyance that it took me at least a millisecond longer than usual to start clawing at the change station button, when I first heard ‘Viva la vida’. Now, it seems, there is an explanation for this and why it doesn’t suck as completely, as everything else they’ve ever done. The reason? They ripped it off someone else—someone who can not only actually write songs, but has some talent and originality too! A rare commodity indeed.

A song by Joe Satriani on his 2004 album ‘Is there love in space?’ features a track written for his wife—which the man who once scraped a living together by giving guitar lessons to Steve Vai and Metallica’s Kirk Hammet—is suing Cockplay for “copying substantial original portions” of his song ‘If I Could Fly’ in their song ‘Vida la vida’.

Speaking to, the grammy winning, multi platinum recording artist said, “Everybody noticed the similarities between the songs. It’s pretty obvious. It’s as simple as that – when you listen to a song and you say, “Wow, that’s a real rip-off.”

If a jury can’t unanimously agree that Codplay are a talentless bunch of cunts, surely they shouldn’t have any trouble agreeing they blatantly stole the melody and chords? Thankfully the internet has already come to the rescue and made this mash-up on MyTube. See for yourself…


5 comments on “You know how anyone with a brain HATES Coldplay, yeah?

  1. “This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by EMI Music.” (coldplay’s label)

    that just bleeds irony all over the place.

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