How is that erotic? Weird fetishes and kinky goings on.

Did you ever accidentally type “porn” into a search engine and come across (oh no don’t) a fetish that in all your wildest dreams you never thought anyone could possibly be into?

They do say, do they not, that if you can’t find what you’re into in Japanese porn, you’ve just stumbled upon a multimillion dollar genre. Those whacky bastards are into it all; even crossing over into taboos that frankly churn the stomach of our western sensibilities with so-called Manga comic books.

Also known as Anime, Manga is openly sold and read by people in public places, like we might read Viz or The National Enquirer. It’s most popular in the form of illustrated novels, featuring everything from the downright perverted to the full-on dismemberment of schoolgirls by freaky dragons and fantasy art figures with grotesque genitalia, lifted right out of a triple X rated Godzilla movie.

A quick peruse of even the most heavily censored UseNet servers reveals a myriad of group titles you can’t help but open, out of devilish curiosity. Often (sadly) spam filled, there is still the occasional “on-topic” post which reminds you just how normal you are compared to some people out there.

Curl.
Don’t get me wrong. I can get behind some pretty outlandish stuff, in the name of experimentation. Hey, we’re all adults here – let’s be honest, the odd bit of barbed wire knickers and gimp mask discipline never hurt anyone. But seriously, what in the name of fuck me sideways with a fish is scat deification and toilet humiliation all about?

Yes folks, some people really do get off having done to them or doing to someone else what I can’t honestly put any lower down my list of things to do before I die – in fact it would probably be that which killed me. Pee pee? I get it. But poo? You are having a fucking laugh, right?

Genocide.
Then there’s those like Max Mosley, the president of the Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA) for Formula 1 motor sport. He’s into dressing up as a Nazi and spanking girls dressed like Jewish prisoners of war. The fact that his father was a British Nazi and prominent politician pre-1940, still a hero to fascists the world over, isn’t at all inappropriate. Therefore he keeps his job.

Mama.
Dressing up and role play is harmless enough when no one gets hurt – but there’s always someone who has to come along and ruin it all for everyone. Diaper fetish is the kink of choice for those high powered London business suite types, who spend all week yelling ‘buy’ and ‘sell’ at each other, only to spend their weekends talking loudly in public about how expensive their house is, before being taken home to be burped and changed by Nanny.

People pay serious money to go to baby weekends; nursery style decked out play pens for adult infants to role play bed wetting and potty training – you see where this is leading? Yes, that’s right. More poo.

Almost normal, in comparison to that, pony girls and boys, get off on sticking a horse tail butt plug up the wrong ‘un, donning a harness and mouth gag, to be paraded round a training field, jumping over hurdles making neighing noises.

I get the whole thing about having a laugh with the whole stud farm imagery, but some people really go for it with the whipping and the oats eating and the hey hey hey. Just search Second Life for groups who are into this kind of thing and you’ll see EXACTLY what I mean. And to think, these guys and gals could be sitting next to you on the commute tomorrow morning!

Pigs.
The bottom of the pile, has to be without any doubt, zoofillia. The sex act itself with animals. Fish, eels, ducks, horses, dogs.. ..you name it, empornium.us has it listed in droves. Amazingly it’s not just men who are doing this. I have to admit, the most likely candidates for these kinds of twisted acts usually is men, but women seem to be just as happy (if that’s the right word) to appear in all manner of material aimed at what must be a profitable niche at the fucked up end of the pornographic spectrum.

How, THE FUCK, is that even remotely erotic? Where THE FUCK is the appeal in getting done or doing the do with a beast of the field?

You might recall, for the longest time, one of the more official explanations for how HIV/AIDS crossed over into humans from monkeys, was – you guessed it – bum love with a chimp. Although this was later better described by back peddling red faced “researchers” as coming from certain tribes in South America butchering and eating monkey meat and then travelling into populated areas and having unprotected sex with tourists, but you have to wonder if there could be something more to the original story than some people are prepared to admit?

By the way guys – I hope you’ve spotted the link baiting angle to this story? Some of the search terms in my blog stats which bring people here from Yahoo! and Google are getting out of hand lately – so we’ll see how this one goes down and I’ll report back to you in a week or so.

12 comments on “How is that erotic? Weird fetishes and kinky goings on.

  1. Gargle.

    I just took a good look at that second picture. I just sort of scanned over it while reading the article.. Ew.

  2. For the love of all things holy and not.. I was looking through “pig porn” because, well, I honestly thought that sounded weird. (I had never heard of that one before!) Instead of that, I found a picture of a guy with a baby cow. Christ. People scare me sometimes.

    P.S. – Here’s a creepy one.. Pork and beans. Like, from the can. In a pool. Having sex.. In that. Stop. Do not think about it. I knew a guy and that was his fantasy.

  3. Messy food fight sex I can get behind – because there’s no poo poo shit or animals involved. But pork and beans? What’s wrong with Jelly (Jello) and tinned fruit? Open the cans first obviously.

  4. Lady: Meep. Just. Meep. I said it out loud even! “meep!” My cat looked at me weird.

    Jim: Re: Scat fetishes: >> I don’t get it either, but you totally forgot the vomit part. Also, 2 girls 1 cup which I thankfully have never seen and don’t intend to. <_< But I got it described in detail and I think I might just run away and throw up in the toilet now.

    Meep.

  5. Let’s not forget the furries, the folk that dress up in fuzzy animal suits. Bleh.

  6. Yeah, ok so these people are into some wierd things, but who the hell are we to judge them? Yeah, it may be a little unusual, but at least it’s not small children (or large children for that matter) or something else along those lines. I’d MUCH rather have some rotund gentleman dress up like a baby girl than have him scoop my little girl up and do naughty things to her causing me to not only end his life, but do it in a more embarassing manner.

  7. This is not a comment, but I have some- thing, a fetish(es) that is hard to tell
    others about but I want to try on this
    site.

    My fetish is that I’m a fish – a carp. I
    know many may turn up their noses but to me seeing them swimming around in their own world is so beautiful. My second, I
    guess what I may call fetish is I love to hear the sound of women licking, smacking their lips and clucking their tounges. I love to hear them to that to animals when they are calling their pet or when they
    try to communicate with fish.

    Are these fetishes I exclusively have or do others have a like fetish. Can anyone advise me where to look for like minded
    people. Thanks.

  8. What fucking idiots. They are probably partially mentally disabled though, back when I worked in a hospital you would see such people doing strange things and laughing about it. One man, who was totally bodily abled and was only in for an appendix op, used to enjoy crapping in his bed and would smile as the nurse tidied him up. Wouldn’t surprise me if he was jacking off after he closed the curtains when she left.

    And thats the problem with it. Real people who end up being the victims in this. It makes me sick and they should be locked up.

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