Rude words, for naughty bits

Have you ever noticed how many words there are to describe your bits down there? Regional variations for the man meat alone must run into the thousands. Get your Concrete Nouns out for the lads and add to this list below with some rude words for naughty bits used in your part of the world.

Breasts:
Tits, boobs, knockers, bongos, mams, nips, orbs, pillows, danglers, chebs, paps, man magnets, fun bags, nellies, jugs, udders,

Penis:
Dick, cock, knob, Willie, Fred, weapon, tool, hampton, shaft, old man, fella, truncheon, wang, packet, shlong,

Vagina:
Fanny, pussy, cunt, mott, minge, wesson, mini, welly, sausage wallet, gash, Wilma, gunk, twat, stinker, biff, miff, bush, clout,

Anus:
Crack, arse hole, hoop, fudge tunnel, hairway to Steven, brown starfish, pipe, cake, opinion, tea-towel holder, nipsy, rosette,

Derrière:
Bum, ass, butt, arse, tuckus, fanny,

8 comments on “Rude words, for naughty bits

  1. That person who commented “*bums*” on my pic the other day, me and him once went through a phase where we’d send texts to each other that only had one word in, the name of a lady-bit, to see how many we could come up with.

    So now when you scroll down my text messages, there’s two that stand out from the rest. They simply say, in capital letters: “MIMSY” and “CHODE ABODE”

  2. Chode Abode is poetry. Mimsy is a really old Victorian word, as I recall. Good stuff. Can you get the text as .txt files, off your phone and onto your PC? Paste them in here?

  3. As for the fem naughties, a Gawker poster came up with “catbag”.And for those of us who read a book or two in university, “delta of venus”. And just for the record, I’m really sick of how everyone in the US is using “vajayjay”. Sounds like something you’d get at Starbucks.

  4. Reminds me of when I was reading Star Wars books: Leia gave birth to twins, and she named them Jacen and Jaina. I was unsure how to pronounce the latter, and asked, my mother, would you say, “Jayna or JIIna?” We instantly cringed — what the hell is Leia thinking?

  5. Oh, oh, I got another good one! Our science teacher was telling us the story of a late transfer student who came to register. The secretary looked at his name on the documents, and said, “How do you say the name?” Now, I’m going to spell this next part phonetically to keep the joke intact, but the mother replied, “It’s shah-thede.”

    Okay, now how do you think it was actually spelled?
    Sha?
    Thede?

    Answer:
    SHI’THEAD.

    I swear to God! The kid was named Shithead!

  6. Did you ever see that clip of those guys who pranked the announcement system at Heathrow by asking for made-up arabic sounding names, like Faruqme Inthash’ta and Pootit Inmap Ipe?

  7. Kimberly: Yep. There appear to be multiples of that one running around. I heard that story recently.

    And from somewhere, “vagoo” for “vagina”. I’m not entirely sure where it came from. I just know it’s really weird and some of my friends use it for laughs.

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