Once upon a time, in the nineteen seventies, boys like me learned about the majesty of the opposite sex by gawping at Cherry, out of Pan’s People, writhing around on ‘Top Of The Pops’, while Granddad slyly peeped over the top of his newspaper, to get a glimpse of the blond one with the massive norks.
5, count ’em FIVE minutes of pretty girls per-week, if you were lucky, from a 30 minute long show, which for the rest of the half hour featured David ‘The Kid’ Jensen and Jimmy Saville pretending to have a good time watching Cliff Richard mime to ‘Devil Woman’. Shudders.
Thank the non-existent Lord, that Mr. Tim Berners-Lee was born, eh? His interwebtube contraption has proven most fortuitous in the totty seeking department, or what? However. Calm oneself. Put away those expensive dating site subscriptions. The ladies on this list are so far out of your league, it’s fucking criminal.
In no particular order, then, click to enlarge a list of the top ten podcast and new media babes off that internet…
|Cali Lewis, geekbrief.tv
I say, no particular order, but in reality, Cali is number 1. If you overheard someone describing her, you’d insist they were making it all up. Not content with being nerdier than a Stanford maths club, Apple Mac crazy and über informed on every gadget and gizmo under the sun, she hosts an (almost) daily tech news show which, shock horror, actually tells you stuff worth knowing.
The fact that she also finds time to see it in her heart to wear a riveting array of tight T-Shirts and the occasional pair of slightly austere school ma’am spectacles is purely coincidental to my interests – honest! Oh and the giggle. Her giggle is off the scale. She has a deeply important laugh and no mistake. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, et cetera.
Deftly blending a matey girl next-door presentational style with a refreshingly honest and intelligent opinion on everything from which new gadget is a waste of money to which is a must-buy, no matter the cost, Cali and her Final Cut Pro maestro husband Neil, produce a podcast which is really compelling. A must-download-show, for any self respecting gadget head.
In short: A ten out of ten nerdfest podcast, hosted by a girlie woman with a mind of her own. Pinch me!
Veronica has worn many hats, since first appearing on-air as, at first, the side-kick to and later a permanent member of the team with the CNet.com ‘Buzz out loud’ podcast, hosted by the sexy voiced Molly Wood and the (insert masculine, non-sexy adverb here) Tom Merrit.
Veronica now hosts and produces the web show ‘Mahalo Daily’, for Mahalo.com, as well as enjoying the odd stint on mainstream programs for MSNBC and ‘Attack of the Show’, on the G4 Network.
In short: Mum, Dad, I’d like you to meet…
|Justine Ezarik, justin.tv
Maybe there’s something terribly wrong with me (Lucy, shush it!) – but I don’t normally go for blondes. With Justine, however, I’ll make an exception – which is really good of me, don’t you think?
Hmm. There is just one small problem, however. For some reason, even though, really, she looks NOTHING like her, there’s something about Justine’s mannerisms which remind me of a “girl” I once knew – and trust me, the inverted commas are as polite as I can be about this “person”.
It’s almost like she’d prefer to behind the camera, sometimes – but when she’s in front of it, she really knows her stuff and is destined to be an A-List podcaster for years to come.
Justine regularly appears on Leo Laporte oriented shows and recently did some great coverage of MacWorld Expo.
In short: The eyes definitely have it. But, for me, her addiction to all things Apple is the real deal clincher. Dear Christ almighty, I am such a fucking fanboy.
|Zadi Diaz, epicfu.com
Epicfu used to be called Jetset Podcast and it was the first fast-cut to the facts and nothing but the facts video podcasts that I got into after Rocketboom.
If I had a £1 for every mega web site I’ve found thanks to Zadi, I’d have about £27. EpicFu – which I presume is supposed to mean Epic Fuck Up, rather than as-in Kung Fu – is like an injection of del.icio.us, with an infusion of Zadi’s cute Latino THANG goin’ on.
In short: I might be seeing a pattern emerging here, which I’d never thought about before. Zadi has a FEEEELTHY girlie laugh. OMG. I’m a laugh perv!
|Lala, Tiki bar TV
Lala is the constantly tipsy assistant to Dr. Tiki, the eponymous host of the show based upon the idea that getting blind drunk just isn’t good enough, unless you’re drinking weird cocktails. And rightly so!
Each infrequent but eagerly awaited episode features fast paced comic capers based loosely around a plot in which a particular blend of BASTARD strong liquor saves the world from a fate worse than death.
Miss Lala NEVER fails to send shivers down the spine of anyone who isn’t the most screamingest of screaming homosexual – although what it is about her exactly I can’t quite put my finger on. Teeth?
Her nerd / geek credentials are tenuously based upon the widely rumoured suggestion that digg.com founder Kevin Rose was inspecting her gadgets at one point last year. If true, well done sir! That’s what I call batting WAY above your average. No offence.
In short: Sensuous, likes a chortle and completely hatstand bonkers.
Amber first came to my attention hosting the commandn podcast, but our American and Canadian chums might know her best from The Screen Savers, which was a cable TV show about computers, from back in the day.
Another once rumoured love interest of Kevin Rose, Amber probably has the most impressive resumé I’ve ever seen.
Recently she went brunette, although I suspect she’s a true blonde. Only one way to find out, of course!
In short: Any woman who not only knows what RS232 and 802.11n means, but can probably introduce herself to the people who invented them on first name terms, is a force to be reckoned with. That and the fact she has a butt that won’t quit, obviously.
|Dr. Kiki Sanford
Host of This Week in Science, Kristen (or Kiki) certainly isn’t backwards in coming forwards, what with her PhD in Physiology, with an emphasis in neurophysiology, from UC Davis and all.
She recently hosted a number of MacBreak Weekly video podcast specials from the MacWorld Expo in San Francisco, for Leo Laporte’s TWIT network and started out in 2006, at WNBC-TV in New York, as a producer for the health reporter, Dr. Max Gomez.
In short: Redhead. Cute laughter lines. I’ll bet she goes like the clappers, or something. Wait, did I say that out loud?
Tech Weekly, from the British newspaper The Guardian, is a tech podcast on gaming and the web, but Aleks’ presenting credits go way back to programs like ‘Bits’ and ‘Thumb Bandits’, for Channel 4 Television, here in the UK.
Some might fail to see the attraction, but the very fact that she reminds me of Claire Sangster (love of my life when I was, like, 14 – who liked me as a “friend” but nothing more, sob sob) is enough of a reason for me, now that I’m old, decrepit and completely out of touch with reality, much less in possession of Claire’s phone number, that I can stare at Aleks’ giant print out picture every night, while I etch ‘Mummy’ into my wrists with a rusty nail.
In short: I’m completely hatstand. Aleks on the other hand has (seriously now) a GREAT mouth. Yes. You heard right. Mouth. That’s what I like about her, OK? Forget about the Mummy thing.. ..and the nail, OK? OK.
Rocketboom, let’s face it, was way more fun when the people making it, didn’t know it was going to be utterly huge. Don’t get me wrong, I respect hugely what they managed to do when no one else was doing it, with a tiny budget – but it’s innocence was lost when Amanda left, to do the mainstream TV thing and was replaced by Joanne Colan.
In short: She’s very tall. I like tall birds, I do.
Have I missed anyone out?