Life’s too short

20071225-20071224-crw_0812.jpgSo, I’ve started writing this entry a billion times and couldn’t come up with anything that sums up how I feel about carrying on blogging, or rather starting over again!

I know some of you worried for me, when it came to light that the person responsible for vandalising the old place was the last person any of us expected it to be, and your kind words and attention via e-mail have been so well received I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am that you guys stuck by me and more importantly believed my side of the story.

I did learn one very valuable thing from the whole experience. Because the vandal intended for me to believe that some religious extremists or a political groups out there were to blame for the defacement – I did have to stop for a moment and think about how it must feel to suddenly read someone – perhaps out of context – essentially telling you that everything you’ve been brought up to believe is bullshit – and more than that giving, I hope, very good reasons as to why they feel this way.

So, even though I fully intend to continue calling it as I see it, this is something of a fresh start for me in explaining how me and billions of others like me around the world feel, when it comes to the politicisation of religion.

It also gives me the chance to revise my book, the self-publishing account for which some of you might have noticed was also defaced in the attack. This too is a blessing in disguise, as it gives me the chance to add the pepper which was missing from the final touches of the first edition, which itself was a ninth or tenth draft of the text I’d been working on since the first few weeks I was in the US.

On the subject of my stay with the Traci, I can’t say I regret a second of it. She was, for the most part, a very understanding woman, considering I am far from being an easy guy to live with. I had a really chilled out time and I’ll always consider her family to be the nicest people I’ve ever met. In the whole of the time I was there, I never met an American who fitted the stereotype. Everyone was kind and helpful and, if ever I do go back to the States, I’d be delighted to hook up with guys like Jeff and Rick again.

Naturally I’ll never know what some of the friends I made out there have been told about me, or think that I have sent them when in fact it was the attacker mailing them from my hijacked account, because the only copy of their e-mail addresses I have are on the GMail account I no longer have access to and, of course, the Traci has locked me out of the mail box and so far hasn’t seen it in her heart to hand over the new password. This has also rendered all of my software serial numbers irretrievable and, unless I can manage to reach a sympathetic ear at the various companies who make some of these titles I use everyday, the next time I need to re-install or update to the newest version, I’m probably going to have to pay again.

Some might suggest this is reason enough, not to mention the deletion of my other web sites and the defamation of character element to the attack, to justify some sort of legal action against Traci – but I’m not interested in that. All I know is that someday she will realise what she has done and regret it far more than I will ever regret posting a couple of dodgy pictures of my man-length to an adult contact forum, several years before we met.

Life is far too short – it’s true, but sometimes it can seem far too difficult as well. I don’t intend to do what Traci has done and make it any harder for myself than necessary, and carry around worthless emotional baggage, in this regard. And all I can say on the matter of lost love, for now is, look out ladies – I’m single again!

Stand up straight. Shoulders back. Don’t let the bastards grind you down!


12 comments on “Life’s too short

  1. Long hair looks good on you.

    I’m really proud of you, and extremely happy. And don’t mind over-usage of intensifiers; they make my day. :)


  2. Hoooray!! Took me a while to find you but I did (and I won’t tell you how, because then you’d know how utterly tech-stupid I am). Hang in there, and please do get in touch with me at the same old place you always did. Glad you’re okay.

  3. Jim!

    Well, normally I would write a comment of this length in an email, but this is the only way I have to contact you. I read several of your posts to make sure it was you, by the writing style, and when I found this post, I knew I had located you.
    I feel like a bad friend because one day I went to check your blog and discovered it was gone. Last I had heard you were on your way back to the UK and I couldn’t find you anywhere. I’m not a googlestalker, and i know we don’t know each other except online, but i’ve come to think highly of you; i respect your opinions and i value our shared perceptions of humanity, life, science, atheism, tech geekiness — and i couldn’t accept the idea that you had just disappeared, it just bothered me way too much to never know about you again.
    Again, i feel like a bad friend because i really had no idea what had gone on that brought about your complete anonymity, nor am i sure how long it lasted. I’m glad that you are okay, as I was starting to imagine horrible scenarios, like the IRS had come to tax you, or you were being held in GitMo, or the RIAA was imprisoning you for pirating software, something happened in your plane flight, or a whole basketful of other very unlikely scenarios that would result in me never knowing you again.
    I really don’t know what to say other than I’m glad you’re allright and safe. You are right: life is entirely too short. If there’s anything I can do to help, snap your fingers and i’ll be there. Snap your fingers to the rhythm of the turkish march, and i’ll make you a ham sandwich. :) Make no mistake, if they ever have a web way of reaching out and giving long bear hugs to people you care about, you’ll be one of the first on my list.
    If there’s a better way to get in touch with you, please let me know.


  4. Jim!

    I hope I’m not repeating myself — I left a message here before, and I no longer see it. I signed up for a username with wordpress, so hopefully, this time the comment will stay.

    Again, sorry, if this is a repeat comment, but I am so deliriously happy I found you! I am up way past my usual teacher bedtime, and instead of Stumbling, I started looking for you, again. When I realized that you had closed all of your accounts, I started to get really worried! I didn’t know what had happened to you and you were just gone. Everything was gone. I was baffled, and concerned! I started worrying that maybe your flight went down, or something happened with your passport, or you were in GitMo, or the RIAA accused you of pirated tech — my imagination was going nuts!

    I know we only know each other online, but ever since viewing your youtube vids, I’ve felt like I had an ally, and a kindred soul to share with. One of the first things I told you, to cheer you up, is that any girl would be mad to not take you up on a dinner-filled conversation philosophy, religion, science, etc, and I still think that’s true. I genuinely wish the best for you. The thought of never reading your blog again because you had simply dropped off the map, was not acceptable to me. You have readers for a reason, you know! Now that I’ve found you, don’t go anywhere! I’m really not that good at googlestalking!

    When I read this blogpost, I understand at a basic level what has happened, and why you would obviously need to have a fresh start. I did try to contact you blindly through email, making up variations of jimgardner and jgardner and j_gardner at yahoo and google, but everything was returned to me as undeliverable. Your howgoodisthat blog is the only way I have to contact you now, so if you’d rather I send novel-sized comments (like this one here ^-^ ) to an email, let me know or email me from your new address.

    If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. You have a really good attitude about all of this and that is hands down the best thing going for you. That, and this man-length picture? What is that? LOL… well, i definitely didn’t come across that while googlesearching for you! Okay, that CANNOT be the last thing I type here, hmm…. lol… think of something, err… think of something ELSE!

    Oh — news in my life. So, the school I work at, failed to pass funding for next year, and cut their entire choral program. The school I hoped to retire at, will be cutting me. Well, maybe I didn’t want to retire there anyway. I feel like I’m back at square one, but that’s my perception, and I can change my perception. I’m crossing my fingers on an interview at a school about 15 miles from home, or that another school posts an opening. If the economy wasn’t so dreadful, i’d consider teaching private lessons at my home. We’ll see.

    Please write back, even just a short blip, to let me know you got all this :)

  5. You’re cute – see my e-mail reply for more on why this happened and what’s going to happen about it and so on. Thanks SO MUCH for getting back in touch! It means a lot.

  6. I just thought I would go back and have a look through the archives.

    What the hell happened here? All I can glean is a hijack, a woman, and someone pretending to be a fanatical religious group. Sounds like nothing but a shitty situation from here. (Glad you got out the other end unscathed)

    Was this related to your blog, or was it a private personal vendetta?

    I wasn’t reading your blog n 2008, So I didn’t know you had left. But never the less I am glad you are back. I come to howgoodisthat every day now.

    Why were you in the U.S. in the first place? Work? Student?

  7. Wow, sweet post, I was wondering how to do this. and came across your blog by yahoo, many great info here, now that Ive got an idea. I’ve bookmarked your blog and also added rss. Please take a look at my site: free xbox points and please keep us informed about your site :-), thanks!.

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