So, I’ve started writing this entry a billion times and couldn’t come up with anything that sums up how I feel about carrying on blogging, or rather starting over again!
I know some of you worried for me, when it came to light that the person responsible for vandalising the old place was the last person any of us expected it to be, and your kind words and attention via e-mail have been so well received I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am that you guys stuck by me and more importantly believed my side of the story.
I did learn one very valuable thing from the whole experience. Because the vandal intended for me to believe that some religious extremists or a political groups out there were to blame for the defacement – I did have to stop for a moment and think about how it must feel to suddenly read someone – perhaps out of context – essentially telling you that everything you’ve been brought up to believe is bullshit – and more than that giving, I hope, very good reasons as to why they feel this way.
So, even though I fully intend to continue calling it as I see it, this is something of a fresh start for me in explaining how me and billions of others like me around the world feel, when it comes to the politicisation of religion.
It also gives me the chance to revise my book, the lulu.com self-publishing account for which some of you might have noticed was also defaced in the attack. This too is a blessing in disguise, as it gives me the chance to add the pepper which was missing from the final touches of the first edition, which itself was a ninth or tenth draft of the text I’d been working on since the first few weeks I was in the US.
On the subject of my stay with the Traci, I can’t say I regret a second of it. She was, for the most part, a very understanding woman, considering I am far from being an easy guy to live with. I had a really chilled out time and I’ll always consider her family to be the nicest people I’ve ever met. In the whole of the time I was there, I never met an American who fitted the stereotype. Everyone was kind and helpful and, if ever I do go back to the States, I’d be delighted to hook up with guys like Jeff and Rick again.
Naturally I’ll never know what some of the friends I made out there have been told about me, or think that I have sent them when in fact it was the attacker mailing them from my hijacked account, because the only copy of their e-mail addresses I have are on the GMail account I no longer have access to and, of course, the Traci has locked me out of the mail box and so far hasn’t seen it in her heart to hand over the new password. This has also rendered all of my software serial numbers irretrievable and, unless I can manage to reach a sympathetic ear at the various companies who make some of these titles I use everyday, the next time I need to re-install or update to the newest version, I’m probably going to have to pay again.
Some might suggest this is reason enough, not to mention the deletion of my other web sites and the defamation of character element to the attack, to justify some sort of legal action against Traci – but I’m not interested in that. All I know is that someday she will realise what she has done and regret it far more than I will ever regret posting a couple of dodgy pictures of my man-length to an adult contact forum, several years before we met.
Life is far too short – it’s true, but sometimes it can seem far too difficult as well. I don’t intend to do what Traci has done and make it any harder for myself than necessary, and carry around worthless emotional baggage, in this regard. And all I can say on the matter of lost love, for now is, look out ladies – I’m single again!
Stand up straight. Shoulders back. Don’t let the bastards grind you down!